INS Legacy

Murphy’s Laws of Insurgency

Posted in anecdote, commentary by Argyll on February 16, 2009

1. The last guy on your team who is alive will not call reinforcements.

2. The fire mode of the weapon you pick up will be opposite of what you wanted and it will not have a round chambered.

3. Whenever you are doing something important like capping a capzone or providing sniper fire to your rushing teammates you will be teamkilled by Grunt.

4. The “Objective X is under attack” warning is gonna be ignored by 100% of your teammates.

5. You will get killed exactly when you are almost done reloading your SAW or RPK.

6. You will get teamkilled 2 seconds before you finish capping the last objective with 0 reinforcements left.

7. Your voice chat, text chat and player animation warning “cover me i’m reloading” will be ignored by 100% of your team.

8. Any other tactical advice based on your 2 year, 600 hour experience in Insurgency will be ignored by 100% of your teammates.

9. A 12 year old is gonna be the commander of your team, give orders and provide tactical advice. Everyone on your team is gonna listen to him.

10. You will run out of ammo exactly when 4 enemies are charging at you.

11. You will not have any grenades when you see 4 enemies pile into a room.

12. You will get shot when you are reloading your weapon.

13. Your warnings of “not bunching up together” will be ignored by 100% of your teammates.

14. When half of your team decides to make a coordinated attack, they will be wiped out by an RPG.

15. Enemy RPG will target you, running by yourself and not the group of 4 of your teammates 5 meters in front of you. You would not be upset because you saw that RPG round hit you in your face, and you thought that was cool.

16. If you are the commander you will forget that you have zero reinforcements left.

17. If you are the commander you will forget to set the objective.

18. You will die after you jump off a cliff that you had jumped off hundred times before without a scratch.

19. Grunt will take the most important weapon class for the current map.

20. USMC Sergeant class is going to be taken by Grunt, Grunt(1), Grunt(2) and Grunt(3)

21. You will kill yourself and a third of your team when shooting your RPG behind a wall that reaches up to your torso or any other type of cover.

22. You will walk away without a scratch after shooting RPG inside an enclosed room.

23. If you are a Grenadier, you will always be shot when you are either changing from your 203 to your rifle, or from your 203 to your pistol.

24. Your seven pistol shots can not kill a prone enemy in the back.

25. You will pistol kill your enemy 30 meters away with 3 shots.

26. Your defending teammates will smoke all the approaches to the objective.

27. Your attacking teammates will not use a single smoke to cover their advance.

28. You will be pwning the opposing team with zero team communications.

29. You team consisting of clanners will be pwn3d by the opposing team. All 12 of your teammates will be communicating 100%

30. Your spray that you spent 2 hours in Photoshop on will be covered by the default Saddam spray.

31. You will get banned.

32. The voicespamming, teamkilling, spawncamping, myg0t, 4thmd, wallhacking 12 year old will not get banned.

33. You will always be too close to use your 203.

34. You will always be blocked in a doorway by your teammate when your objective is under attack.

35. You will be blocked in a doorway by your teammate at all other times.

36. Your teammate will walk in the open to check around the corner of the alleyway and live.

37. You will be shot when a pixel of your head peeks around a corner for a millisecond.

38. You will die, standing behind cover, a second after you run across an alleyway and yelled “god damn that was close, man I’m good at dodging bullets”

39. The more you play Insurgency the more likely you will be called a noob by one of your teammates.

40. The more you play Insurgency the more likely you will be ordered around by one of your teammates.

Do you think the list is not complete? Do you have what it takes to complete it. Feel free to add your own laws.

Posted by rqqt2 on the INS Forums.

This openly shows the community’s frustration with the state of the mod, and most can be fixed (and as the original designer of the game, I have been lobbying to do so as well) in the Source version of the mod. Yet, the development team chooses to rebuild, from scratch, the mod over again on the Orange Box engine… without making it clear as to why.


2 Responses

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  1. rqqt said, on February 18, 2009 at 19:04

    Ok, there’s a more interesting story behind this:

    rqqt2 is now banned from Insurgency forums. Why? Because on the same rainy day that he typed this baby up, he spent about 4 hours in GIMP and microsoft word providing detailed constructive criticism based on his 2 year experience playing the mod.

    How did the forum mods react? – Like 14 year old French school girls. Rqqt2 was given a 20% warning (half of the abv he was drinking that night) regarding Rqqt2’s comments that the mod wasn’t play-tested properly the first time and that Insurgency 3.0 needs to be properly play-tested before its release. When Rqqt2 posted the text of the warning on the original thread, he was banned (ok, that’s understandable and not so bad); but wait!… not only he was banned but the entire thread (which was pretty long and detailed) was deleted.

    Lessons learned:

    1. INS developers can not accept any kind criticism constructive or not.

    2. INS developers did not learn anything from the 1.0, 1.1, 2.0, 2.1 releases over the past 2 years.

    The person who banned rqqt2 is “endless”. Maybe next time I’ll be a spammer like this guy:
    So this way, my thread won’t get deleted, huh endless?

    INS developers:
    SPAM = OK
    User Feedback =GET THE FUCK OUT

  2. Argyll said, on February 19, 2009 at 09:33

    You are welcome to post your feedback here… send it to me and I’ll post it:

    Welcome to the banned club. Yeah, I started the mod (installed the forums even), and managed it for five years only to be banned by some people who are sucking the life out of the mod every day… yet masqueraded as mod developers.

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